Queen Brickhouse BBQ Brisket is BACK!!!

Oh how fuckin dependant i am on you! I almost died these last few days without you. I’m so sorry my son spilt lemonade on you. I promise to take better care of you. Thank you for not messing up my hard drive. thank god i had insurance and didn’t have to pay the $1260 to get you fixed. My incantations worked and now i really believe what you are supposed to have is yours. My pics, my readings, my musings, my creations are all still here and my songs are still here!!! Oh how i love Apple!! I promise i will get a keyboard cover and an external hard drive!!! I promise from here on out i will love and cherish you more.

Your biggest fan, 

Queen Brickhouse

i just had an epiphany…slight changes in my thought patterns have been changing my life drastically and it just dawned on me, if i truly expected grand success i’d do every damn thing i do so much differently. I realized when i wake up in the morning my thought is more like…Hopefully i have a good day. I’m always in the back of my mind anticipating the terrible turn my day/life will take. I feel like my good times have an expiration date???? I believe that regardless of what i do to raise my kids they will hate me when they turn teenagers? Its so terrible that I don’t really believe i could have the life i want to create and i do all this half ass attempts at going for it the whole time trying to prepare for the dissappointment. Whew! this is some ridiculously shitty thinkin. Glad it come up for me so i can let it go!!!!!!!!!!!

(Source: beautifuldisasteroflife)

I wish there was TWO days for Halloween one for the kids and one for the adults. Last Halloween i had enough fun for two years of Halloween. So this one i chose to just do the kiddos costumes and skip the Huge Gay Halloween Parade. My son makes everything worth the trouble. He saw his costume busted out into a grin and said WOW!!!!! That made me feel soooo good! My Nyala was so unenthused over the whole thing her costume was so adorable though!  Very soon when i get my nannies, i will have time to make the kids costumes and one for myself and jermaine!! then we can really be ridiculous. What i realized was that i could make costumes all day its just the sewing normal everyday clothes that bores me to death. Anyway Khari was in Character the whole time he had his costume on. In fact he fell asleep in it and was mad when he woke up and he had pajamas on. The people at the mall were going so ga ga over him it was utterly ridiculous and boy was i proud. He was doing moves for people, posing, the ladies were fightimg over who would be the one to hand him candy! It was so much fun!

I was talking to this chick at the store earlier and she told me her baby daddy told her that she was his favorite! Mind you…he has Four other baby mamas. What i’m wondering is… is she supposed to feel special? WTF? i was dying laughing! He doesn’t want to be there in the hospital when the baby is born, he claims if you’ve seen it once you’ve seen em all. She said on the rare occasion when he watches his son, he will watch him for a day then be like I’m not cut out for this, leave his baby and go hang out. To top it off when she told him that he need to get his priorities straight to stop hanging out and getting drunk all night, he told her she was just jealous cuz she couldn’t drink no more! Oh my god i so want to meet this guy! He is truly a hot ass mess! This is crazy shit i just had to share! 

When i reflect on some of the bullshit i’ve put up with in my life its truly insanity. I believe its the brainwashing and constant reinforcement that you ain’t shit without a man. How different would my life had been if I hadn’t bit into that? What if my relationships were with guys i truly liked? Guys who loved and cared about me? Cuz i must admit i have put up with some dumb ass shit! LOL! But thats a story for another day.